I Own A Horse
by TarTarIcing
Summary: Pre-MW1. Gaz has had it with Ghost's meddling with his relationship with Price, and plans to use deviant methods to get it through his skull. Implied Price/Gaz, Crack Gaz/Ghost.


**A/N: I don't own MW 1 or 2. There's slash, and graphic sexual content, so be warned when reading this. This has no connection to _Clover_, even though I made Gaz and Ghost are still cousins, just to give some justified connection. Enjoy the fic!**

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><p>The sun shone where a prince like Gaz rode. On top of a horse, his bangs peeped out of his grass green riding helmet as he galloped across the field. His pants were the same color as his helmet, but his shirt was white silk. The horse, affectionately called "Alf", neighed in satisfaction. All was well in the expansive orchids of the Sandhurst (1) Country Club, until a carrot randomly flew in Alf's direction.<p>

"Alf! Alf!" Gaz jerked and yelled, "Whoa there, boy!". He whipped him with a black crop as the tan steed braked to get the carrot thrown on the ground. He then caught Captain Price in his sights and yelled, "What the bloody hell was that for?"

Price came into sight and gave a devious smirk, "Figured Alf would like a carrot. You look awfully like a jockey these days." His wrinkles contorted into a genuine happiness under the shade of his boonie hat.

"Cool story, sir," Gaz rolled his eyes and Alf chewed the carrot while he galloped, "I'll be riding around 'til four. See you later, mate." Alf galloped away to the far away apple trees. To be precise, this wasn't their home base in Credenhill. At this moment, it was a spring vacation, so Gaz and Captain Price could spend more time together. Price, on the other hand, walked back to a peach tree near the golf course, and sat down under to read _Madame Bovary_.

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><p>Dinner arrived at the country club much faster than Alf could gallop through the orchards. Decked out in polos and dark slacks, they navigated through the sea of golfers and rich snobs to get to their table among the archipelago of other tables. Gaz clung to Price's arm, almost possessively and displeased with the fact that it was full.<p>

"Geez, these bloody golfers, are like, stuffing up the place!" he whispered to Price as he tugged on his arm.

"No shit, this is a country club!" Price shook his head. Piano music twinkled amongst the whispers of other people. The dining room hall was low-lighted, mauve and lined with dark olive carpeting and bronze lamps. In other words, it was fancy, judging by the fur coats from the women and silk suits from the men.

"You said it was expensive!"

"Expensive doesn't mean empty, Gaz," The older man explained while both sat down in their chairs. Soon as they sat, an older man dressed as a butler handed them their menus and asked for their orders.

"I want paaaasta (2)... And Pepsi-" Gaz ordered first, raising his hand in unison with the drawn out "pasta" and smiling.

"Beef and rice pilaf... And lemonade," Price was curt. Quick as the orders requested, was quick as the orders came. For their price of over 200 euros, they didn't disappoint. Gaz beamed the entire time he devoured the provolone cheese and tomato angel hair pasta. Price was dazed chewing the steak, cherishing it with multiple "mmm's" spilling out every once in a while. Dessert was simply icing on the cake. They both split the double-tier strawberry shortcake with everything freshly made and from scratch. Never in years they eaten something of gourmet-caliber.

"Oh my, that was orgasmic," Gaz giggled childishly from his sips of Pepsi. The dishes were collected and his captain left a fifteen percent tip in the waiter's front pocket. He leaned toward him and grasped his left hand, holding it rather firmly.

"Gaah!" Price squawked in surprise. Since he never experienced love in general, and was often nearly asexual, it shocked him or it felt awkward to show it to others. He then brought it under the table.

"Hey, I saw that!" A tall man with a cockney accent called out. He had short, choppy, black hair and wore a black sweater and gray sweatpants. He quickly shifted through the room.

"Hi Simon! What are you doing here?" Gaz greeted him back by letting go of the captain's hand to hug him.

"Hello, Riley..." Price murmured. To him, being friends with Gaz's younger cousin wasn't as fuzzy.

"Hello, Price..." Simon incredulously turned up an eyebrow, "Well Tommy and I went paint balling, then he went to work. Turns out they here needed an electrician, so we came here." He turned back to Gaz, giving an update on his newly-clean brother, Tommy. A few months ago, Tommy became an electrician for a local company. "Say, Gaz, you should come with us. It would be really fun."

"No thanks," Gaz chuckled after sipping his Pepsi, "I like it here. This afternoon I rode a horse around a bunch of trees. It was refreshing!"

"Let me guess, Price rode along with you?"

"Oh no, he didn't," turning his eyes to Price in mild displeasure, "He sat under a tree reading, but that's just him." He smiled after.

"Ha-ha, very funny, you're dating a bookworm," Simon scoffed.

"For your information, I'm not a worm," Price growled under his breath.

"Says the one who likes the words 'cute', 'well-endowed' and 'pet', all used to describe my cousin. Aren't you smart? If you are, can't you use that wide vocabulary to give him some decency."

"Don't you see your cousin is normal?"

"I'm not letting a PEDOPHILE of all people rope in my cousin!" Simon was starting to get aggravated.

"WANKER, you don't say that!" Gaz yelled on top of his lungs, "Price is not attracted to children and I am not a child!" Everyone in the dining hall stared, even though glasses and plates fell. "I will have to get that through your thick head!" When he usually ranted, he'd often blush, cover his mouth and shrink away, but there was an absence of a blush and he still stood, hands clenched into fists.

Both Simon and Price stared at him in awe. Silence blanketed the room.

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><p>"Seriously, that Simon," Gaz ripped off his belt, cursing.<p>

"Is there something wrong, Gaz?" Price laid a palm on his shoulder, but he swatted it off. They were both in a hotel room, with its cheap furniture contrasting the luxury of the country club. Unsaid, Price knew the answer. Gaz was fed up with his younger cousin and lashing out in protest was a waving red flag. Brushing their teeth and changing, both went to sleep on their shared bed.

Suddenly, Gaz got an idea. He knew an awfully great way for Simon to grow up properly and to teach him how not to fuck with someone's love affairs. Whatever it was, Simon had better hide.

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><p><em>After Spring Vacation, Credenhill at 22nd HQ<em>

Gaz calmed down and called Simon, apologizing to him and the like, what a big cousin should do. What a big cousin shouldn't do was mix roofies in the cookies and have a stick pony, cloth strips and lube in the next room. He calmly waited at the couch with warm mint tea in his hands. After a few minutes and Price walking by to go on Skype with MacMillan, Simon walked in. He had already accepted Gaz's apology and expected to hang out, not needing any greetings.

"Serve yourself," Gaz pushed a plate of almond shortbread cookies towards him. To Simon, it was a typical day of eating snacks. To Gaz, it was the claymore being set as he ate it.

"These cookies are awesome. What did you-" Simon slipped into unconsciousness quickly as he took time to complement it. The claymore just exploded.

_Tango Down._

Gaz carried Simon into his room, where his aforementioned equipment laid. After three layers of armor and clothing, he finally stripped Simon nude on his bed. The cloth strips were then used to bind his hands and feet together. He locked the door and stripped down to only an unbuttoned shirt and uncapped the lube.

"What the..." dozed Simon as he woke up. Luckily, Gaz put one roofie per cookie, so it didn't affect him much. "What the bloody fuck? I'm naked! And I'm bound!" Realization that he was nude hit him in a snap as cold air hit his skin hard. Gaz couldn't help but have a gleeful smile on his face.

"It's high bloody time you learned, Simon," Gaz cooed at the younger cousin below him, "Don't you know I own a horse? (3)" He produced the stick pony, which was a two-dimensional painted horse on a one-inch round dowel. With lube in the other, he squirted a small amount onto the end and rubbed it at the base of Simon's entrance to coat it around.

"This is disgusting!" Simon's reply rang true. Shivers went down his spine feeling the lube.

"No shit," Gaz spat. No ounce of remorse went through his heart strangely. He sat at near the pony's head while aiming the rounded end at said entrance. "Says the one who called Price a pedophile when he certainly wasn't. When I fuck Price, now that's less disgusting."

"You like elderly people!" Simon went into a nasal song.

"Fuck you!" Gaz jammed the pole end in, causing a scream from Simon. Slow was not the speed.

"I don't like this...Ah, ah!" He squinted his eyes shut. A sight like this made the elder cousin hard. To tame a shrew, especially a good-looking one felt rather satisfying. His other hand circled a nipple as he held the pole under his shaft, which was a good nine inches. Simon was right about that one, to give him some credit. An unwanted erection sprouted as an result. Struggling in those cloth strips didn't help either.

Pants and screams echoed in the room. Both were hard as the pole pumped in and out. It took a few minutes for Gaz to snap out of the haze and speak, "Simon, don't hate me for this. I understand you had to grow up fast when you were young. *Sigh. But I think you need to learn some manners."

"What the hell?" Simon yelled back, "Your love is not pure at all!"

"Simon!" He slapped him in the face, shifting it and making it sunburnt red, "One thing is butting your nose into other people's business!" Another slap. "Another is how you judge others and their relationships!"

"An older man cuddling you and spending all his money on you is grooming!"

"Our relationship is more than that. **More than.**" Gaz gave a hard yank on the head of Simon's shaft, producing a yelp. "It's high time to plunge this deeper, don't ya think?" He gripped the pole and pushed it through further.

"Pedo best friend!" Simon moaned.

"You never stop talking. That's persistent," He murmured as he tweaked Simon's nipple, "But you never struggle, why is that?" He pumped it in again, in a rhythmic motion.

"I've struggled the whole time, asshole!"

"Oooh~...I'm sorry. I toook it as thrusting. You're enjoying this aren't you?" He alternated between moaning and fawning.

"My gosh," Simon growled, "You are sick."

"We're best friends and then lovers. Get that through your thick skull!" He slammed himself down and vaulted up, "I think the horse needs to go back to the stable." He tossed the wooden horse back to the door. It neighed by a loud thud.

"Yes! You got off!" Simon didn't know whether to be in ecstasy or relief, but either way that was a good sign... until Gaz pulled out his still stiff erection and stroked it.

"You're still fucked." First, he lifted the younger's legs as he sat on the edge of the bed. He aimed down the younger cousin's entrance, then driving it in deep as possible.

"Aaaah!... Hnnn!... Aaaah!" He was screaming. The sensation was of a nail being hammered, pulled out, then hammered again. Slow. Agonizing. The cloth strips seemed to tighten as he struggled against worse and worse punishment. The upside was he didn't have to hear that motherly cockney accent. Fast. Quick. It jammed, burning him up. He was FUBAR. The elder was having a field day. This situation ensued a major difference.

"Done. Now... Suck... My... Wanker," He finally showed a sign of actual fatigue. Obviously both were rosy and sweaty, but they endured it like the good soldiers they are. Gaz pulled out, got on top of him, and shoved his member down his throat, "And take all of it." Gag reflex was nothing the elder cousin cared about. Like an obedient cousin, he did, and never bothered to struggle anymore.

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><p>Price was done skyping MacMillan when he heard the horse neighing. He walked over to where the noise came from. Loud moans and screams echoed from Gaz's room it seemed. Price tried to knock, but nothing answered back. He tried turning the knob, clicks sounded in reply. As a soldier, his instincts concluded that the situation wasn't normal. Dashing to the keys in his office was the only solution.<p>

He was grateful that he had a key to every room in the base. Dashing back, he urgently thrusted the key in and twisted. The door slid independently as it revealed an intense scene: Both his lieutenant and the younger cousin, exhausted from god-knows-what and naked, but Gaz only had a sweat-soaked open shirt. Simon tied up and the elder on top, both erections visible. He cupped his face and knocked his head against his. Price's breath started hitching. He knew if he continued watching, he might join on this otherwise "personal matter". He slammed the door and twisted the key.

The captain had his back against the wall, panting. He tilted his head and unknowingly his hands roamed and massaged to his thighs. In all honesty, he knew that was titillating, proof by that he was getting off from it. The rational man inside his conscience was in denial, saying it was wrong and he should enact disciplinary action. He screwed that man and went to his private bathroom, preferably on the edge of the tub, pants and all off.

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><p>All the pent up euphoria blasted in the form of orgasm. Covered in their bodily fluids, Gaz gave a passionate French kiss to Simon. Price was lucky to not hear or see this. Because they were both tired, the kiss was sloppy and tongues lapped whatever they can of each other. The elder untied the cloth straps and laid next to him, putting his arms around him.<p>

"It's okay, Simon," He said soothingly, "You've learned your lesson, haven't you?"

"It's cool," Simon tilted his head on the other in an exasperated sigh, "I'm sorry. I just love you, and I want to look out for you. I don't want you to fuck up."

"I've let you live your own life; now you have to let me live mine, okay?"

"It's a done deal. Let's go to the pub."

"Let's."

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><p><em>Next Day<em>

Gaz woke up. The sun greeted him and so did the course outside. Everything sang "Good morning, good morning" (4) to him as he walked and got dressed. His teammates greeted him too. Captain Price, however, gave a solemn tap on the shoulder and a droning announcement to come to his office. He knew fear, and it came with announcements.

"I called you here for something indecent," Price stared at him square in the eye. The office housed the thick, dangerously humid tension. The door locked it in.

"I didn't do anything," Gaz gave a head-tilting chirp, innocence dripping.

"If you know me, I have personal rules beyond the standards," His lecture sounded redundant, but the lieutenant always forgot. "One, you don't sully my paperwork. Two, you don't sully my books, my writing, or to make it simple, don't touch anything in this room. Three, last of all, DON'T MAKE ME HORNY! I do abhorrent things when sex is on my mind, screwing is one of them."

"What did I break now?" The cheeky smile we all knew and loved widened across his face. He also had his arms crossed at his chest, "Oh, _Grapes of Wrath_."

"I saw what you did to Riley," Price sighed, feeling his muscles tighten up and harden thinking back, "It was painful for me, because I kept having orgasms doing my paperwork. I wasted two hours jacking off in my bathroom, because that jump-started my libido. Two Hours!" He stared panting and gripping himself, moaning. "I can't stop thinking about it. I'm still so horny... Oh god." His face started becoming flushed, and his hands had a new area to be stationed in: between his legs.

Gaz's face lit up fear. He had never seen the full extent of Price's libido beyond the bedroom. And it hit like a tank when he became insatiable. His jaw dropped at what he was doing. A proper soldier, a genius, reducing to a moaning sex addict. It was truly frightening and that burned into his corneas. He **had** to do something, and quick, because everyone might see.

"Mate, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry..." All spat out in rapid fire. Over and over again.

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><p><strong>AN: Lemon, much? This was very hard to type up, considering only one person knows about this and I had to hide it. I've made a couple of references here, so here's where they came from:**

**1) Sandhurst: Another British city, also another base of the British special forces**

**2) Paaasta...: Okay, you have to live under a rock to not know this one. This is the most famous line from the anime Axis Powers Hetalia, spoken by none other than North Italy.**

**3) I own a horse: A meme line often used in the chatroom Omeagle to troll others, make possible molesters go away or just annoy others. Gaz means this literally, taking in some horrible implications.**

**4) Good morning, good morning: A line from a song in the musical movie Dancing in the Rain, starring Gene Kelly. Seems like the perfect song.**

**R & R!**


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